my devilish demon by gia

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11 Responses to my devilish demon by gia

  1. eremi says:

    Gia it was good, but you wrote some things one more time, maybe check over your work and read it carefully! 😉

  2. plahp says:

    I love this, it has a really good story line! Maybe next time you could use different sentence starters. But otherwise I loved it! It’s such a good idea!

  3. asarm says:

    Gia I liked how you have described the charter however maybe you can add some ajectives.over all I have really enjoyed this.

  4. dhang says:

    Hi Gia,
    This sounds like a start of a very romantic but SCARY story. I would be interested to see if the demon finds Mr Blue…
    We’ll done.

    Daddy x

  5. dhang says:

    Thank you very much daddy

  6. nanand says:

    Well done Gia, another great piece of writing, you used detail well to create a firm impression of your baddy in your reader’s mind; I especially like the way you included information that made your reader almost feel a little sorry for him, a sign of a talented writer.
    Next time try to vary your sentences starters.
    Mrs M

  7. Felixstine says:

    What a sad tale. Is your demon truly indestructible? Mr Blue seems to have had a very big impact on his existence. I can see from the comments that you understand how important proof reading is.

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