Hi Pavan,
You have made great use of detail to create a fearsome demon that is firmly centred in the world of myths and legends; I especially love the way you implied things about her character through the way she does things, to influence my opinion.
Next time try to vary your sentence starters.
Mrs M
“She greets the with fear ” This a very powerful phrase and really says how awful Blaze is. Your demon is petrifying but you suggest some weakness when you say “she feels this makes her invincible”. I think she should be invincible and your writing should describe this.
Hi Pavan,
You have made great use of detail to create a fearsome demon that is firmly centred in the world of myths and legends; I especially love the way you implied things about her character through the way she does things, to influence my opinion.
Next time try to vary your sentence starters.
Mrs M
“She greets the with fear ” This a very powerful phrase and really says how awful Blaze is. Your demon is petrifying but you suggest some weakness when you say “she feels this makes her invincible”. I think she should be invincible and your writing should describe this.