Stars: I really like your descriptive writing because you are using good adjectives like glimmers
You used good punctuation likes commas , full stops etc.
wish: Maybe you can use different sentence starters
Hi Junior,
Wow! What an incredible way to start your myth! I love the way you used detail to draw me into your tale, influence my opinion and place your story firmly in the world of myths. As you continue, think about varying your sentence starters.cant wait to read on.
Mrs M
Hello there,
What a lovely natural style you have, I could almost hear someone’s voice narrating the story as I read this, surely the sign of a talented writer! Use connectives to help you create links between paragraphs.
Hope things work our for Fastbledion
English Advisor
Manchester
:)=good description and big words
:)=I liked your Atlantis description
:(=link your last and second paragraph.
Stars: I really like your descriptive writing because you are using good adjectives like glimmers
You used good punctuation likes commas , full stops etc.
wish: Maybe you can use different sentence starters
Hi Junior,
Wow! What an incredible way to start your myth! I love the way you used detail to draw me into your tale, influence my opinion and place your story firmly in the world of myths. As you continue, think about varying your sentence starters.cant wait to read on.
Mrs M
Hello there,
What a lovely natural style you have, I could almost hear someone’s voice narrating the story as I read this, surely the sign of a talented writer! Use connectives to help you create links between paragraphs.
Hope things work our for Fastbledion
English Advisor
Manchester