stars: I really like your descriptive writing because it has a lot of adjectives and good describing
You used good punctuation like ellipses for suspense
wish: you could maybe use different sentence starters
Hi Zahra,
Wow! What an incredible opening to your myth! You used detail well to influence my opinion and make me care about what happens next. As you continue, try to think about varying starters and structures .
Can’t wait to read on!
Mrs M
Hello there,
Alisha sounds like a formidable heroine for your reader; make sure all the detail you include fits a myth, I’m not sure the UK is a mythical setting- could you change this?
Keep it up
English Advisor
stars: I really like your descriptive writing because it has a lot of adjectives and good describing
You used good punctuation like ellipses for suspense
wish: you could maybe use different sentence starters
I really liked how you connected your story to the one that we are reading in class. to improve maybe use a myyt
I meant mythical land
Hi Zahra,
Wow! What an incredible opening to your myth! You used detail well to influence my opinion and make me care about what happens next. As you continue, try to think about varying starters and structures .
Can’t wait to read on!
Mrs M
Hello there,
Alisha sounds like a formidable heroine for your reader; make sure all the detail you include fits a myth, I’m not sure the UK is a mythical setting- could you change this?
Keep it up
English Advisor
Ok thank you