Hi Kayshap,
I really like your use of language, you really helped me to picture things in my mind and left me wanting to know more. As you continue, think about when you are changing paragraphs .
Can’t wait to read on!
Mrs M
Hello there,
What an appealing setting you have created with your fabulous use of language. Make sure you give your hero as much detail to help your reader picture them more clearly.
I wonder what is creating those ‘rocky earthquakes’?
English Advisor
Manchester
good work! try to add more commas.
<Good description
Change the colour not readable
Hi Kayshap,
I really like your use of language, you really helped me to picture things in my mind and left me wanting to know more. As you continue, think about when you are changing paragraphs .
Can’t wait to read on!
Mrs M
Hello there,
What an appealing setting you have created with your fabulous use of language. Make sure you give your hero as much detail to help your reader picture them more clearly.
I wonder what is creating those ‘rocky earthquakes’?
English Advisor
Manchester