Hi Gia,
I really enjoyed reading this; you used precise and interesting detail to help me picture things in my mind and draw me into your story. As we continue, make sure you always check your verbs are in the past.
Looking forward to hearing about Sandy and her adventures.
Mrs M
Hello there,
I really want to know what fate awaits Sandy! It sounds like she has quite a journey ahead of her. I agree, try not to jump between the past and the present.
Keep up the great work
English Advisor
Manchester
your description is amazing!!!
thank you Zahra I will look at yours and maybe leave a comment
<Good description
Mention ‘Sandy’
okay zia, thank you
Maybe add personification
I will try and add that on my next pragraph
Hi Gia,
I really enjoyed reading this; you used precise and interesting detail to help me picture things in my mind and draw me into your story. As we continue, make sure you always check your verbs are in the past.
Looking forward to hearing about Sandy and her adventures.
Mrs M
Thank you so much for this feedback I will make sure that I check my work ones or twice
Hello there,
I really want to know what fate awaits Sandy! It sounds like she has quite a journey ahead of her. I agree, try not to jump between the past and the present.
Keep up the great work
English Advisor
Manchester
thank you very much for the great feedback that you have given me I will keep that in my mind