Hi Jinan,
Wow! What an incredible setting you have created! I love the way you used detail to influence my opinion and place your story firmly in the world of myths. As you continue, think about how you can use varied structures to control your reader.
Looking forward to reading the next chapter.
Mrs M
Hi there,
What a fabulous setting for your myth Diplomania is, I wonder why a family of devil were allowed to live there? Could you give your reader a little more information about your heroes so that they can picture them in their mind.
Keep it up.
English Advisor
Manchester
STARS: GREAT WORK I REALLY LIKE YOUR DESCRIPTIVE WRITING
YOU USED GOOD PUNCTUATION
WISH: END IT ON A MYSTERIOUS CLIFF HANGER
Hi Jinan,
Wow! What an incredible setting you have created! I love the way you used detail to influence my opinion and place your story firmly in the world of myths. As you continue, think about how you can use varied structures to control your reader.
Looking forward to reading the next chapter.
Mrs M
Hi there,
What a fabulous setting for your myth Diplomania is, I wonder why a family of devil were allowed to live there? Could you give your reader a little more information about your heroes so that they can picture them in their mind.
Keep it up.
English Advisor
Manchester