Hi Mia,
What an interesting way to open your story and draw your reader in, whilst at the same time placing your story carefully into the world of myths. As you continue, think about your editing; you are missing punctuation and making grammatical errors. Reading aloud will help.
Looking forward to hearing about what happens to Scarlett.
Mrs M
Hello there,
Oh my! I wonder what danger is lurking in the home of the Gods? You really created intrigue in your story and left me wanting to know more. Think about including more description in your story so that your reader can get a clear picture in their mind.
I do hope Scarlett is victorious.
English Advisor
Manchester
Hi Mia,
What an interesting way to open your story and draw your reader in, whilst at the same time placing your story carefully into the world of myths. As you continue, think about your editing; you are missing punctuation and making grammatical errors. Reading aloud will help.
Looking forward to hearing about what happens to Scarlett.
Mrs M
Hello there,
Oh my! I wonder what danger is lurking in the home of the Gods? You really created intrigue in your story and left me wanting to know more. Think about including more description in your story so that your reader can get a clear picture in their mind.
I do hope Scarlett is victorious.
English Advisor
Manchester