Hi Maleeha,
You made a great start at introducing the setting and hero to your reader; I especially like the way you tried to include imagery to paint a picture in my mind. Sometimes keeping it simple makes things clearer for your reader.
I can’t wait to find out more about Ella
Mrs M
Hello there,
What a fabulous way to start your story ‘There was once a hill that stood as still as a statue’! You really used some beautiful language ; next time think about when you want your reader to pause and add in commas, it will make your work easier to read.
Keep it up.
English Advisor
Manchester
Hi Maleeha,
You made a great start at introducing the setting and hero to your reader; I especially like the way you tried to include imagery to paint a picture in my mind. Sometimes keeping it simple makes things clearer for your reader.
I can’t wait to find out more about Ella
Mrs M
Hello there,
What a fabulous way to start your story ‘There was once a hill that stood as still as a statue’! You really used some beautiful language ; next time think about when you want your reader to pause and add in commas, it will make your work easier to read.
Keep it up.
English Advisor
Manchester
Interesting imagery within the writing it provokes a sense of place and provides the reader with a clear picture of where the story begins.