Well done this is a lovely piece of writing , I love the way you have created an atmosphere through description. Mrs K
You have created an atmosphere for the reader by using good words well done
Great work! I like your wide range of vocabulary giving the reader a better picture of what is happening.
I like ur story because it has lots of detail but maybe change the font or colour to make a bit more clear
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Well done this is a lovely piece of writing , I love the way you have created an atmosphere through description.
Mrs K
You have created an atmosphere for the reader by using good words well done
Great work! I like your wide range of vocabulary giving the reader a better picture of what is happening.
I like ur story because it has lots of detail but maybe change the font or colour to make a bit more clear