STAR GREAT DESCRIPTIVE WRITING GOOD ADJECTIVES
WISH MAYBE USE BETTER OR MORE PUNCTUATION LIKE WHEN SOMETHING LIKE ACTION HAPPENS USE AN EXCLAMATION MARK
Great stuff Kerem, you explain the background to what is happening well and have used varied sentence structures to great effect. As you continue, make sure you check it back as I can see some missing punctuation. This really is a great story. Mrs M
Watch out for punctuation But great writing
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STAR GREAT DESCRIPTIVE WRITING
GOOD ADJECTIVES
WISH MAYBE USE BETTER OR MORE PUNCTUATION LIKE WHEN SOMETHING LIKE ACTION HAPPENS USE AN EXCLAMATION MARK
Great stuff Kerem, you explain the background to what is happening well and have used varied sentence structures to great effect. As you continue, make sure you check it back as I can see some missing punctuation. This really is a great story.
Mrs M
Watch out for punctuation
But great writing