Hi Summayah,
wow! What a clever hero you have created in Judas, I really like the way you included thoughts to draw me into your hero and you ambitious vocabulary . Next time, remember to change paragraphs when you change place or time, this will help your reader to follow your story more clearly. Make sure all the words you are using fit the context too.
Keep up the great work.
Mrs M
Hi Summayah,
wow! What a clever hero you have created in Judas, I really like the way you included thoughts to draw me into your hero and you ambitious vocabulary . Next time, remember to change paragraphs when you change place or time, this will help your reader to follow your story more clearly. Make sure all the words you are using fit the context too.
Keep up the great work.
Mrs M