that was very good I loved how you used his eyes like the dark night sky
great descriptive language
maybe next time you could add more metaphors 🙂
🙂
I think you did really well. Your adjectives are good and you’re description is good. But maybe you should read over it a few more times, so you can correct all mistakes.
Your writing is really descriptive
I like the fact that you used a rhetorical question to start it off
Next time you could add some similes and metaphors
I like how you tolled the reader what he looks and maybe and where he came from
I liked your description.
I liked your descriptive words.
I think you could have done a bit more.
good work. I think you should work on grammar.
good description heniv I like the way you described it
GOOD DESCRIPTION!
TRY TO ADD SOME SIMILES. 🙂
I REALLY LIKE HOW YOU ARE USING DESCRIPTIVE WRITING
I LIKE HOW YOU USED A QUESTION AT THE START
READ IT OVER AGAIN THERE IS A FEW MISTAKES
that was very good I loved how you used his eyes like the dark night sky
great descriptive language
maybe next time you could add more metaphors 🙂
🙂
That’s really descriptive and made me think how he affects the world.
I think you did really well. Your adjectives are good and you’re description is good. But maybe you should read over it a few more times, so you can correct all mistakes.
You need to work on your start
I like the way you described the man
Your writing is really descriptive
I like the fact that you used a rhetorical question to start it off
Next time you could add some similes and metaphors
I like your question
you could add another question
great simile and description
What a great character description. Great use of a question at the start.:)
like how you described it
maybe put some similes.
Well done!
From 5a