I think you did really well. Your adjectives are good and you’re description is good. But maybe you should read over it a few more times, so you can correct all mistakes.
Your writing is really descriptive
I like the fact that you used a rhetorical question to start it off
Next time you could add some similes and metaphors
I like how you tolled the reader what he looks and maybe and where he came from
I liked your description.
I liked your descriptive words.
I think you could have done a bit more.
good work. I think you should work on grammar.
good description heniv I like the way you described it
GOOD DESCRIPTION!
TRY TO ADD SOME SIMILES.
I REALLY LIKE HOW YOU ARE USING DESCRIPTIVE WRITING
I LIKE HOW YOU USED A QUESTION AT THE START
READ IT OVER AGAIN THERE IS A FEW MISTAKES
that was very good I loved how you used his eyes like the dark night sky
great descriptive language
maybe next time you could add more metaphors
That’s really descriptive and made me think how he affects the world.
I think you did really well. Your adjectives are good and you’re description is good. But maybe you should read over it a few more times, so you can correct all mistakes.
You need to work on your start
I like the way you described the man
Your writing is really descriptive
I like the fact that you used a rhetorical question to start it off
Next time you could add some similes and metaphors
I like your question
you could add another question
great simile and description
What a great character description. Great use of a question at the start.:)
like how you described it
maybe put some similes.
Well done!
From 5a