Hi Gia,
You have organised your work really clearly and used thoughts well to move the story on. Careful, you jump from third to first person; reading your work back before you publish will help you to spot mistakes like this.
Mrs M
Well done gia I am really impressed with the standard of your work. You have used a vivid range of description and used alliteration and many techniques which made your work outstanding. Next time use capital letters.
By Priya Didi x
Hi Gia,
You have organised your work really clearly and used thoughts well to move the story on. Careful, you jump from third to first person; reading your work back before you publish will help you to spot mistakes like this.
Mrs M
thank you Mrs Moore, I am sure that that will stay in my mind
* I like the description that you have used.
* You used a lot of dialogue
wish: Next time you could use more of a variety of sentence starters
thank you pavan for your two stars and a wish
I love your wish, and that you told me the truth and how to improve it
thank you 🙂
Well done gia I am really impressed with the standard of your work. You have used a vivid range of description and used alliteration and many techniques which made your work outstanding. Next time use capital letters.
By Priya Didi x
Thank you Priya Didi I will make sure I use it in my next price of work