Well done Mia, you have used repetition and description well to really create an interesting atmosphere and draw me into your story. Next time remember to organise your work into clear paragraphs. I enjoyed reading this. Mrs M
I will try to organise my work next time
An excellent use of descriptive language. This is an interesting story there are too many commas, and not enough full stops!
:):):):):) THIS IS AN INTERESTING STORY. NEED MORE FULL STOP.
WOW! GOOD USE OF ADJECTIVES! TRY TO USE SIMILES 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks for the comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🙂 I like how you described the ocean blanket because of you adjectives.
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Well done Mia, you have used repetition and description well to really create an interesting atmosphere and draw me into your story. Next time remember to organise your work into clear paragraphs.
I enjoyed reading this.
Mrs M
I will try to organise my work next time
An excellent use of descriptive language.
This is an interesting story
there are too many commas, and not enough full stops!
:):):):):) THIS IS AN INTERESTING STORY.
NEED MORE FULL STOP.
WOW!
GOOD USE OF ADJECTIVES!
TRY TO USE SIMILES
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks for the comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🙂 I like how you described the ocean blanket because of you adjectives.