The structure and pace of the story was excellent and I like the twist at the end, I hope they did indeed teach Noel a lesson! You use commas well to support the reader and have picked your words carefully. I especially like the phrase, ” After they went inside, their hearts pounded. As mentioned in your other comments try and avoid repetition. I look forward to your next tale.
Well done Adeeba, you used descriptive detail to draw in to your well structured short story. Try to use synonyms to avoid repetition.
The structure and pace of the story was excellent and I like the twist at the end, I hope they did indeed teach Noel a lesson! You use commas well to support the reader and have picked your words carefully. I especially like the phrase, ” After they went inside, their hearts pounded. As mentioned in your other comments try and avoid repetition. I look forward to your next tale.