Hi Jinan,
This was a great read. I absolutely loved your opening sentences, you had me hooked immediately!
Remember to give enough detail to help your reader understand what happens.
Well done.
Mrs M
Hi Jinan,
The last sentence in this story is not needed however a varied sentence structure has been used which makes the reader want to carry on reading. Keep up the good work.
Losheni
Hi Jinan,
This was a great read. I absolutely loved your opening sentences, you had me hooked immediately!
Remember to give enough detail to help your reader understand what happens.
Well done.
Mrs M
Hi Jinan,
The last sentence in this story is not needed however a varied sentence structure has been used which makes the reader want to carry on reading. Keep up the good work.
Losheni